February 18, 2009

Subject: Karma, karma, karma, karma, chamelion

First of all I'm pretty sure I've written to Caleb, so he has been sent a letter. I can't be held responsible for him not getting it. Second of all, Caleb has sent me one letter, not six, and the letter was only three lines long. Then he said he was out of room. But I will still send him another letter because I love him and he is soooo cute (please pinch his cheeks for me). Also tell Kasey thanks for the pillow letter. The feathers didn't exactly stay in the envelope when I opened it. Thanks for the packages. I really do enjoy them. I'm sorry if I make fun of the things you send me sometimes but you do shove weird things in them.

You need to go on the internet and look up the investigator we're teaching. He's a refugee from Zimbabwee and the government wants him dead and we're teaching him so that’s fun. I have to be on the look out for secret Zimbabweean spies (I'm pretty sure that’s not a word). Besides that things are going a lot better here. The area is starting to turn around. We met standards for the first time in a long time this week, so that’s really exciting. And we still have two boys scheduled to be baptized. They have ADHD for real and so teaching them is a bit of a challenge, but we are making progress. Things go better if they take their pills. I always used to think it was just stupid parents that put their kids on drugs for having too much energy, but I don't think these two could function otherwise if they don't take their pills. They can't even focus through a whole sentence. We also lost our other scheduled investigator that was scheduled when I got here, so that was depressing. But overall things are going well and I'm enjoying myself.

We did exchanges again this week and this time I went to Hartleypool . They actually have a flat and don't just live with a member so that was different. There was actually enough space to do a push up in the morning, but it doesn't matter. I think I'm done with exercise anyways. I’m going back to seeing just how big I can be when I get home. I'm hoping to look as though I just ate Caleb. Fingers crossed. I've also given up trying to convince my companion I have an eating disorder. Its way too hard. I keep getting hungry and eating so I think seeing how fat I can get is the best goal for me.

Anyways Hartleypool was great. I got to teach an atheist old man who just liked having company and get in a deep debate with a cynical 30 year old who mostly just enjoyed showing us the depth of his vocabulary and ability to analyze people. He was also convinced that we only listened to Christian rock even after we talked about Pink Floyd for a while. And finally I got to teach a lady from the Philippines who only spoke Tagalog so that was an adventure. I think that went pretty well. I mostly just spoke loud and slow as though she were handicapped, so yeah me. She had a sweet enamel tooth which I’m thinking of getting to replace all of my teeth. Its way cooler than white. I could have like turquoise teeth with jewels in them. Just try and tell me that wouldn't be tight. It was a good exchange. Then I went back to Billingham where people just assume we're Amish or Jehovah’s Witnesses. People just keep yelling at me about how their child needed a blood transfusion to save their life. I usually just tell them how glad I am he was able to get one and they get really confused ,so that’s fun.

Well that’s all folks. Whatever I say in my emails I really do enjoy it here and I'm having a great time. Tell dad that my skis better look like new when I get home.

My aderess is 40 essex cresent, TS23 4AW Billingham TS23 4AW. If you send it in the next couple of days that would be fine. The brown gloves you made me are gone forever. I lent them to Elder Hansen and he left them in our car which is gone forever, so that was sad. Also I'm supposed to ask you for the pattern for those gloves for a recent convert. She buys me ties and food so I told her I'd get the pattern. Oh yeah. Before I forget, I got slapped by a Chav during my first day on busses so things are great. I'm trying to work on not saying things that would get people upset and I thought I was doing pretty good when I was talking to the Chav, but my companion has informed me otherwise. Finally tell Kasey no pictures ever just because she sent feathers, so there. Well, that’s all for reals. Love you all. Talk to you soon. The Church is true. Tell Matt to keep making sure people focus.

Elder Cody Scott Johnson